By Brian Lieberman
Correspondent
Posted Feb. 18

While there were plenty of films I did enjoy in 2007, in order to be thorough I must also describe my pans of 2007.

Here they are.

‘Transformers’

I could give two $*#@s about how "Transformers" was a gigantic part of my (and almost everyone’s) childhood life. The bottom line is simply that "Transformers" is easily one of the worst films ever released.

I have never appreciated Michael Bay’s work, and after seeing this, I have given up on any possible reconsideration of his abilities. For everyone who says they enjoyed this film, think for five legitimate seconds about how pointless this film and these characters truly are.

Although I will admit that the visuals are extraordinary, CGI effects should not determine a film’s critical and overall success. "Transformers" is nothing more than a cheap excuse to blow things up and bank a couple of hundred million bucks for the ever-decaying Hollywood industry.

‘Norbit’

Hey guys! Remember when Eddie Murphy used to make funny movies?

Yeah, me either.

Eddie Murphy’s unforgettable performance in "Dreamgirls" last year was absolutely diminished when he lowered himself to appear in this appalling comedy.

In "Norbit," Murphy single-handedly makes an offensive mockery of the African-American and Asian cultures. Usually, humor makes amends for political incorrectness, but "Norbit" significantly furthers Murphy’s decay from one of the best comedians in the world to a nauseatingly, unfunny comedic sellout. And the worst part is that "Norbit" has been recognized by the Academy with a nomination for "Outstanding" Achievement in Makeup. Where will it end?

‘Spider-Man 3’

One would think that after the great success of the first two "Spider-Man" films, things could only get better, right?

Wrong.

Audience reviews, as well as critical reactions to the film, were predominantly negative. It is easy for me to concur, for compared to the first two installments in the series, this one is a complete and utter failure.

In "Spider-Man 3," director Sam Raimi ineffectively attempts to introduce a number of brand new characters and uninteresting plot twists into the film.

One must wonder what pressures caused the undeniably talented Raimi to strain his abilities and misinterpret the timeless adage that less truly is more. In addition, the film’s most exhilarating action sequence is its very first one. Everything else seems cartoonish and elementary compared to what the "Spider-Man" films have delivered twice before.

Worst of all, "Spider-Man 3" feels like it should end at around the hour and a half mark. But like Spidey, it just keeps swinging along for another excruciatingly painful hour. Amongst a "web" of Hollywood sequels this past year, "Spider-Man 3" was the absolute worst.

‘Epic Movie’

Attempting to, yet again, cash in on the success of the "Scary Movie" franchise, this stomach-turning comedy hoped audiences would find a feature-length satire of popular "epic" films just as amusing.

Well, they were DEAD wrong.

Just like last year’s equally appalling "Date Movie," "Epic Movie" includes atrocious spoofs of films such as "The Chronicles of Narnia," "The Da Vinci Code," "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and many other films that do not even fall into the "epic" category at all.

"Epic Movie" is so devoid of humor and sense that it seems as though the creators forgot the definition of a parody and began writing completely random jokes in an act of utter desperation.

Forgive me if you think I have been too harsh; "Epic Movie" was not the worst movie of the year, it is the worst movie of the century. And I feel significantly dumber after having seen it. 

Other movies that grinded my gears:

"Rush Hour 3," "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End," "Good Luck Chuck," "The Number 23" and "I Am Legend."